Ninja Crossings
by Hidden-In-Darkness
Summary: A crazy, insane, 2-part fanfic. Wondering about the name? The last part sound familiar? It should!
1. SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY!

HAHAHAHA! MY CRAZY 2-PART FANFIC! Love it… hate it… I don't care. Review anyway. ENJOY! (maniacal laughter) Don't own Naruto. Or anything else in here. Seriously. T... for now.

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**Ninja Crossings**

One day… Sasuke Uchiha, the little, emo, avenger ninja, stumbled upon the powers of Gamecube.

Xx--xX

It was on the day of July, 23rd. Sasuke's seventh birthday and he had just received a present from his older brother, Itachi.

(A/N: As you can see he was not yet emo, an avenger, or an official ninja. AND IS IT JUNE OR JULY?! DAMN! SOMEONE REVIEW TRUTH!)

"Whoa! What's this?" Little Sasuke exclaimed as he looked at the mysterious electrical cube that came out of his birthday gift box.

"It's a Gamecube Sasuke." Itachi, explained and set it up for his little brother. Unbeknownst to Sasuke, Itachi had only gotten it for his own personal gain.

"Yay!!" The little Sasuke said and took the controller. "Now what?"

"_Just when I thought he would leave me alone!" _Itachi thought getting aggravated at his little brother's ignorance. He was almost out of the room too. "Here you put a game in. See?"

He put a small disk into the system and Sasuke's eyes lit up as a title came across the screen.

ANIMAL CROSSING!

"WHOA!! COOL! THANKS ITACHI!!" The little Sasuke looked around but his older brother was nowhere in sight. "Itachi? Oh well…"

"_Let's see… new game!!" _He watched as a little half cat have I don't know what thing came up to him on a train. It asked him the time.

Rover: : Say, thanks! You're too kind! Really, you're a big help… Mya ha ha ha ha howr! So you mind if I sit here? I promise I wont fall asleep, tumble on you, and start drooling on your shirt! Umm… Mind if I sit here? It's more fun traveling in pairs, or so they say, right? I promise, I'm not crazy!

"_No way!"_

Rover: Well it's good to see that there are still many rude people in the world. But I'll sit here anyways.

"_What the…? Is he crazy or what? That thing is creepy!" _Sasuke looked up at the screen. He had to now put in his name.

"_My name is S-a-s-u-k-e." He watched and waited to see what would happen. _

Rover: Ha-ha! That's a weird name!

"I think your name is cute Sasuke!" His mother said walking up to her son.

Sasuke pressed the button to see what would happen.

Rover: Oh! That's good girl's name!

"I'm not a girl!!" Sasuke said out loud. Now even more annoyed. His mother laughed and left the room.

Xx--xX

Sasuke continued to play the game, even though it annoyed him and it was quite creepy, until his mother told him to turn it off and come eat dinner.

"So how do you like your new toy Sasuke?" His mother asked.

"I like it, but that game is weird." He replied and continued to eat because he spent four hours playing that game and didn't eat, drink, or even get up.

"Oh…" She looked at Itachi who bought the game. He shrugged and continued to eat as if he were a girl in some fancy place.

Of course, Sasuke's father didn't give a crap about the whole thing and didn't say a word except to Itachi at the end of the meal. Well a few words to Itachi.

"That's my g… I mean boy." Their father said and quickly ran out of the room to do who knows what. He never did anything important.

He never even said "Happy Birthday!" to Sasuke!!

The rest of the family stared blankly as they watched him leave.

"_Girl?! Okay, that bastard just made my list!!"_ Itachi thought and left the room.

Sasuke started to get up when his mother stopped him.

"No more video games tonight, alright Sasuke?" She said. It was impossible to hate a woman as nice as her.

"Alright. I'll go clean up in the living room." He said and ran off.

She sighed. "Young ones these days… so full of energy."

Sasuke put away the new console and games in the cabinet under the television.

That night the little Sasuke crawled into bed and had some freaky ass dreams…

Xx--xX

"What the hell?! Where am I? And why do I look so… different?" Sasuke looked down at himself and he was taller, older, avengerish, and emo. He gasped. "I just swore!"

K.K.: So you've decided to move out? Get your own place? See the world? That's groovy. Who needs someone telling you what to do all the time? You can do what you want, when you want, where you want.

"_What I want? When I want? Where I want? Why does that make me think of doing bad things?" _Sasuke shocked himself with some dirty thoughts. Was this what it was like to be older?

K.K.: Yeah, living on your own, being free. It feels great. …But living by yourself can be a real drag, too.

"_Is this dude Shikamaru? Everything's a drag to him. And he's all like laid back like him too…" _Sasuke thought, still confused.

K.K.: Still if you've got some really tight friends somewhere nearby, then you know it'll all work out. Yea man. Friends are far out.

"_But… I don't really have friends… Well there's that blond kid… but he's weird."_

K.K.: …Oh. I guess I'm kind of rambling. My bad. So, are you ready to hop on that train and go for a ride?

"I don't know where I'm going but… I'm ready to go!" The eager Sasuke was ready for a new adventure.

K.K.: Oh! I almost forgot! You'll enjoy your time in the world of Animal Crossing more if you get some friends to come here, too. Yeah, it would be really cool if a lot of your friends came to visit your town. Later.

"Animal Crossing? Where have I heard that? Hmm… I'll figure it out later." Sasuke jumped on a train and headed to a seat. A cat thing appeared and walked up to him.

_To be continued… _


	2. TIME IN WHAT LAND?

HAHAHA! WELCOME TO PART 2 OF MY CRAZY FANFIC! HAHA! Don't own Naruto or Animal Crossings. There are many things mentioned in this chapter… that I DO NOT own… So… just to let you know… I DON'T OWN THEM! We cool?

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**Ninja Crossings Part 2**

Rover: Hrmm… Uh… Excuse me… do you have a second? Could you help me out? Is it… let's see now… 3:15 a.m. on Saturday, March 1st, 2008?

"Huh? What? No… That's wrong." Sasuke looked at his watch. His watch, that just suddenly appeared._ "Wasn't it just my birthday? WASN'T IT JUST JULY?! How is it March?"_

Rover: Whaaat?? It's not? Well, do you think you could straighten this out for me?

"According to my watch… it's 16:17 on Saturday, March 01, 2008 OK! How odd…"Sasuke thought. He was just going to go with the flow.

Rover: Now, let me get this straight. You say its 4:17 p.m. on March 1st, 2008? You're sure?

"Uh… Perfect!"

Rover: Say, thanks! You're too kind! Really, you're a big help… Mya ha ha ha ha howr! So you mind if I sit here? I promise I wont fall asleep, tumble on you, and start drooling on your shirt! Umm… Mind if I sit here? It's more fun traveling in pairs, or so they say, right? I promise, I'm not crazy!

"Hell no! No way!"

Rover: Wow it's nice to know there are still plenty of rude people in the world. Know what? I'm going to sit here anyway. I don't even know why I'm bothering to ask this, but what's your name?

"My name is Sasuke…" He said cautiously. Not wanting to get…

Rover: Hrmm… Welll… Hrmmm… Sasuke… Now THAT is an odd name. Mya ha ha ha howr! Not that my opinion means much. What matters is, do YOU like the name Sasuke?

"Well your mom says it's cute." He answered without thinking.

Rover: You're right! Of course! I think it's a very cute name for a very cute girl. I, uh, I'm sorry I said it sounded funny. Honestly!

"YOU ASS! I'M NOT A GIRL!"

Rover: What? You're a boy?! Oh man, my bad! Seriously! Let me get my paw out of my mouth, here. By the way… if you don't mind me asking… where are you headed?

"TO DESTROY KONOHA!" He cleared his throat. "Uh… Konoha…"

Rover: You're going to Konoha?

"Duh! I just said that you moron."

Rover: Hey! I know that place! Konoha is one of my favorite vacation spots! So, what are you going to Konoha for?

"What's it to ya?!"

Rover: Fine, don't tell me! Be like that! I don't care! I know you're moving, though. I can see it in your eyes! So, where are you going to be living, huh?

"Leave me alone Michael Jackson!" He paused and thought for a moment. "Wait… that's Orochimaru…. Uh… BUSH!"

Rover: Don't…. don't tell me… You haven't found a place to live yet?! Mya ha howr! Of course you have! Who… WHAAAT?! You haven't?! You can't just show up with no place to live! We'd better find you a pad, and fast! … oh! Of course! Duh! A good friend of mine runs the shop in Konoha. Let me give him a ring! You wait right here!

Beep beep boop beep! … Hey there, Nook! … It's me! So what's the good word? You raking in the cash? …Uh-huh… Yeah. Ooh, that's rough! Brutal! Well, it's a crazy world! Anyway, as I was saying, I have someone here who wants to move to Konoha… Oh, yeah completely! But the poor thing still hasn't found a place to live. Its sort of a tight spot… …The kid's name? Why? …Oh. It's Sasuke. …Umm yeah. Yeah, today. So, think you can help out? …Oh? Oh, really? …Uh-huh… I see. Oh, OK! Cool. …Yeah, I'll pass the word on. …So we'll catch up later. Riiight. Thanks a lot. See ya. Nook, my man! Bye!

Rover: Ok, I'm back! Miss me? Mya! Well, good news for you! Its sounds like my buddy has some brand-new houses for sale, dirt cheap! The work's all done, but he hasn't been able to rent them. He wants to unload them, so he's willing to take a loss. You have money, right?

"Oh, yeah, your mom's money!" He couldn't control himself. He definitely wasn't a harmless little seven-year-old anymore.

Rover: Than you'll be just fine! Wow… a brand-new house! Nothing like it in the world! Maybe I'll move in, too… oh! Looks like we're about to pull into Konoha. Man, I love this place. Anyway, maybe we'll run into each other again sometime! Good-bye! And good luck!

Porter: Konoha! Now arriving at Konoha! Welcome to Konoha! Watch your step, eek EEK!

Tom Nook: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Hey, you there! Yes, you! Would your name happen to be Sasuke? Good, good! I just now had a phone call about you, hm? Whew! I'm glad I made it here in time to meet your train. I'm afraid I'm not in the best shape of my life… But I ramble! My name is Tom Nook. I, uh, run the store here in town. I'm pleased to meet you, yes? Something strikes me as odd, though, my young friend. Moving to a town before settling on a place to live. Why, it's the craziest thing I have ever heard of! Madness! Absolute madness, hm? Whoa ho ho ho ho ho ho!

"Whatever, loser."

Tom Nook: Whoa ho! Ho ho! Ah, ahem. Pardon me, I beg you! That just struck my funny bone. Now, don't you worry. It may be small, but I have a house you can move into right away! It should more than suit your needs, hm? I can show it to you now, so come along! Let's scuttle!

Here we are! Not to shabby, hm? I can most heartily recommend any of these houses! Take your pick! Feel free to take a look inside. Really. I don't mind. Not in the least! After all, the doors don't have any locks. Just stand in front of the door and press the A button to go inside.

Take a good look inside. And please! Bear mind in that it's a little…how you say…cozy, hm? Yes, cozy!

Tom Nook: Well? What do you think? How was it, hm?

"I like it!" Then he thought. _"Oh great… the rapist other rapist knows where I live!!"_

Tom Nook: You're quite sure? This is the one you want?

"Here is… good!" He said, with plans to switch houses without his knowing.

Tom Nook: Very well! It's decided then! That house now belongs to you, Sasuke! What a happy day for you, I'm certain. I'll tell you what-I'll even throw in the radio in there at no extra charge. I never could see that thing at the shop… Now let me see… I suppose you'd like a quick rundown of your house, so listen carefully, please.

As you can no doubt see… the house doesn't have any furniture in it at all. Yes, quite bare, I'm afraid! Anything you need, you'll have to get on your own. Obviously, you can't expect me to furnish the place for you. You can do whatever you like with your own stuff… but don't try to mess around with other folks' things! Well not that you can! Whoa ho ho ho ho ho! Nobody will know if you just nudge stuff, though. Ho ho! You'll probably want to pop into neighbors' houses to get some ideas for your own interior designs! I would! Oh… Yes. That weird thing over by the door there… That would be your persona Gyroid assistant! If visitors stop by when you're not around, this Gyroid will meet and greet them, hm? It truly is a must-have! You can teach it messages, and then the little fellow will repeat them to visitors! And that's just one of its talents! You can also leave items with it, which it can give or even sell to folks! Oh, and one more thing!! When you're done playing… be absolutely sure to speak to your Gyroid! For that is the only way for you to save everything you did that day! It would be a shame to lose such things! If you quit playing without talking to it first, it'll be like everything you did that day never even happened!! I can't imagine a worse fate! Please take extra care so you never forget. I'd hate to see such a thing happen, hm? And that marks the end of my explanation. I'm hoping that I didn't forget anything… Did you get all that? Do you perhaps wish to hear it again?

"NO! NO THANKS! TOO EFFIN LONG ALREADY!"

Tom Nook: Yes, well, I'm sure you'll settle into the particulars of life in due time. Don't worry! Now then, let's see… With fees and closing costs, the house comes to… 19,800 Bells!!

Sasuke, being the illegal hobo he is, have the raccoon thing 1,000 Bells.

Tom Nook: Yes, that would be… not nearly enough!! You only have 1,000 Bells?! You're joking with me, yes? Why, you're so short, I can't help but laugh! Whoa ho ho! You know what happens to people who don't have money, don't you? I'll tell you. They can't buy a house! But… you still need a place to stay, don't you? Hmm… A thorny situation. Yes. Rather thorny. …Then here's what we'll do! You can work part-time at my shop to pay off the rest! Yes, that's acceptable! Splendid! We're al set! This will work wonderfully! Now then, you'll have to come by my shop later to work. You can find my shop in Acre A-5. You can't miss it. At least, MOST people can't miss it. If you have trouble, check the map by the station, yes? I'm heading back there now, so I'll be waiting for you. I'd ask you to be quick about coming, yes?

"Whatever dude." Then he reluctantly walks to Tom Nook's shop.

Tom Nook: Well, finally you arrive! What took you so long?! I was starting to wonder if you'd show! Only kidding. Very good, yes! First off, you'll need to change into these clothes! If you must know, I suppose I'd call it your uniform. Please let me know when you're done changing, yes? That's better now that you're in uniform! Now you can start working off the remaining 18,800 Bells you owe on your house. Hurrah! First off, I want you to go plant some trees and flowers around my shop. There are around here is too dull- not charming at all. It's just not and ideal sort of shopping experience, mmm? People like shopping in areas that are clean and well kept. So I ant you to spruce things up a bit for me. When you're finished, come and tell me, yes?

"I AM SO NOT CHANGING IN FRONT OF THE RAPIST!"

He then runs out the door, all over the flowers, steps on midget, nearly anal rapes Hinata, makes out with Naruto, and then runs away from MJ/Orochimaru, the FBI, the terrorist unit, Border Control, his mom, Rover's mom, the ice cream man, Belle Tire Guy, the Michelin dude, Kool-Aid Man, a middle-eastern taxi driver with a fake New Yorker accent, fangirls, fanboys, transvestites, drag queens, a plumber, the hot pool guy from that one show, "Mr. Hottie" the teaching assistant, a dancer, a cheerleading squad, a marching band, Amber an ass, a horse, a donkey, a house on wheels, a gang of motorcycles on Harleys, a gang from the East Side (Detroit), a gang from the West Side (Detroit), Obama and Hilary wanting his vote, hobos, random people he's killed that are now zombies and/or ghosts, Moaning Myrtle, some random foreigners, some random vacationers, and through the set of the Nine In The Afternoon Video and finally he ended up in a flower garden where he meets the Little Prince.

The little prince looked up at Sasuke and asked of him. "Please… Draw me a sheep." In a high, girly-like, little kid, British accent.

Sasuke screamed. Then woke up crying, breathing heavily, sweating and… "HO-LY…!! …I'm going to need therapy!!"

And surely enough… he ends up in therapy. For more reasons that one.

THE FREAKING END!


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